Saturday, April 7, 2012

Carlos Pena's Ass and How the Former Mayor of Tampa Wants It

Never has the omission of an apostrophe been so titillating.  As you can see in the picture to the right, there is a stark difference between wishing someone a welcome return, as in “Happy to see you’re back”, and wishing to feel all up on that booty, as in “Happy to see your back.”  At the tail end of Friday’s Yankees vs. Rays telecast, viewers were treated to this image of two libidinous ladies and their propositional signage.  What makes this image all the more delicious is the particular lady in the middle, former two-term mayor of Tampa Pam Iorio, Leader, Author, Speaker, and admirer of The Rump.  “But!” you say, “She isn’t holding the sign.”  This is true.  It is entirely possible, yet less entertaining, to consider the possibility that the former CEO of America’s 54th largest city just stumbled unwittingly into this humorous circumstance.  However, this BBB contributor, in search of the dark stanky truth, got all up on that internet and found pictorial evidence to the contrary wedged deep within the electronic crevasse known as Twitter.

The Mayor desires the seat of power.

Pam is a fan of the can.

Monday, April 2, 2012

Create Video Success: Digital Pompadour

The right place and the right time have rendezvoused quite a lot recently within sight of the official BBB videographer.   This past Saturday it happened at Digital Domain Park in Port St. Lucie, Florida.  The videographer, who isn’t very talented but tries real hard, arrived early and took his assigned seat next to an amiable old man from Poughkeepsie.  While taking the first bite from something called a “knish”, the videographer overheard the Poughkeepsian say, “Get a load of this guy’s hairdo.”  The videographer looked up, stopped chewing immediately, and then searched desperately for his camera.

Now, women are generally expected to arrange their hair into a pleasing coiffure from time to time, if not every business day and most romantic evenings.  For men however, a beautiful arrangement of hair is a rare treat indeed.  It is for this reason the videographer seems especially taken with the appearance of this strange man and his alluring pompadour.  The video is a success because the software used to create it tells us so.

Despite occasional flights of fancy, the BBB videographer is a true gentleman, and as such, does not succumb to base desires.  Therefore, there is no way, no possible way, he might have grabbed that strange man’s head and rubbed his cheeks through its unimaginable fluffiness, back and forth, slowly and smoothly, in a manner not unlike the spreading of icing on a cake.  No possible way.